Frederick and Mae Mae

This is what Caden has named the babies in utero. He is quite certain that there is a sister and a boy in there. He likes to give them zerberts and to tickle them (this means digging his finger into my belly button as far as he can- ouch).

After the bleeding incident he said "Mama, were you crying because the babies were crying?"
"Well, I can't really hear them cry yet, but I was scared and sad."
"I think they were crying. I will make them laugh."

And he has been on a mission since to keep those babies laughing.

We had on Friday our first appointment with the perinatologist, and it was great on a hundred different levels. That is where we had most of our prenatal care with Caden, and just parking in that structure, walking into that office was comforting. It gave me a feeling of, "ok, here we are. We've done this before. Maybe we can do it again." Their ultrasound machines are awesome! And we got a clear view of both babies, their individual sacks, and individual placentas. This makes the pregnancy lower risk than if they were sharing a placenta. We also got to see little arms and legs moving around! They grow so much each time. They are both measuring bigger than my estimated due date, which means they are cruising right along! Also no one could tell that the SCH ever happened. Wonderful news all around!

Then we got to see Dr. Merrel. I just love this man- I really do. He is so positive and affirming, but also knows his stuff. When he saw us, he said "You guys! I didn't expect to see you again!" Whether or not he remembered us, he had taken time to look over our charts and clearly knew our history. He was the first doctor that I felt like really empathized about the bleeding. When we told him the story, he said, "Wow, with your history. That must have been so scary. Of course you thought the worst. Some women freakout over a little spot of blood, and you really bled. I'm so sorry you had to go through that." It felt so good to have my medical provider get it. Having that that sort of connection is gold for me- when I can relax and feel like a provider understands me, I can let go a little and trust their advice more.

I have been off of bed rest for about a week now, and it has mostly been good to get back into some sort of routine with Caden, get out here and there, but the nausea is still very intense and makes it hard to function. I know Caden misses the former more available me, but we are also finding ways to connect, even though that often means he sleeps in our bed and eats his meals in my lap. I don't mind. He's growing fast now, and I enjoy the closeness. I'm very appreciative of his other relationships right now- his dad, Grommy, Tio, and all his sweet friends. I know he's always loved and cared for even though I can't always be the one who's there for him right now.